How did I come to love him? How did I come to this point of my life where staying awake doesn’t make much difference from being asleep? Sometimes I wish for things to undo themselves. And yet again sometimes I feel like there’s no more chance for things to be reborn so I could start all over again and make much wiser decisions. I am a damsel in distress once again, bruised and cold, and I have to cry these secret tears to myself. Because the man I love doesn’t have much better choice than stay with his screwed up family. It is a noble choice, that’s why I stay here in my own corner and bear the pains. Nothing I can do will change anything. This just has to go on. Until when, I do not know. He has to make his own decisions. I realized I have been playing almost more than a half of his part. I just have to slow down and allow a few distance between us, as far as decision making is concerned. Maybe one day, I will become his wife, by then things will be different. We can hold hands and make decisions together for a common goal.

For now, I am still the other woman. I cannot do much but cry his pains and mine ... all alone.