Praying

There are times when I find it very hard to pray. Being tagged as an immoral makes me feel I am not worthy to touch the Lord's hem. Even just his hem. I feel so dirty. So undeserving. I feel that I deserve all this suffering because I am dirty. Right now, I am buried in desperation. How and when things will be lighter, brighter? There are so many things I want to have, to do, to make up for. I want to make it up to my parents, for causing them heartache. I want to provide for them the best that I can possibly give. I want to give them a good life, make them experience paradise in my farm. Please Lord have mercy on us. Give me this chance. Please just one more year. I am begging you for it. Just one more year Lord. I want to give them the best. I want to give them more than what they need and want. Even just for that. They've been suffering too much all their life. They deserve to be happy with the things that they want. I just want to just let them be and enjoy the remaining years of their life. I supposed there is nothing wrong with that. Please help us. Please help me. I do not know what to do right now but I look to the light at the end of this very very long dark tunnel. Please help me.

I've done so many things wrong. I want to make it up to them. To others around me. I want to pay it back. I want to give. But I cannot to that if I am empty and dried out. I've been dried out most of of the time. Most of my life. Only you can help me. Please, let me touch the hem of your robe. Please. And deliver us from this hell that we are in right now. Have mercy and forgive us for all that we did wrong. Please give us a second chance at life. Please Lord have mercy on us.