"Darating ang panahon na magmamahal ka, at hindi mo alam kung sino ang ititibok nang puso mo." Watching an indie film and these line struck me. Indeed, I fell in love, madly deeply in love and with what the society calls a wrong man. Wrong, because he's married. Well, when I started sharing a life with him, I discovered many more reasons why he's wrong. In so many ways he was and maybe still is. All the darkness that our relationship has caused us, it took its toll on him. Depression can be so ugly. I cannot one by one enumerate everything that I have suffered but right now, somehow we have managed it. Depression made him wrong, for me and for my son. I managed to protect my family from all this, my parents especially. I got myself into this, I will go through this alone. This man, this wrong man is the one that I love and risked my life for. He is in every way worth the pain, he is worth it. Our situation, no matter how ugly, has helped me see life from a different perspective. I am more open now, more enduring, more understanding. I know I can make it through, night after night. My heart starting beating for someone who sacrificed everything for me, literally left everything for me. He wanted me so bad. I wanted him so bad. There were so many moments of bliss. And now that things have become ugly, love has to endure. This is what love is about.
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