Tuesday, September 21, 2010

He can dominate me. That’s what makes him so different from the others I have got to know with. Not even my husband can tame me. But I can see that he can. He does. He tries to. And I can see myself submitting to his will, bearing his indiscretions, his blunders, his callousness. I have never known someone as stubborn as him, stubborn enough not to be controlled by my girlish qualms or my medieval pains. He can charm his way in, with his sly smiles and tilted head, he can find his way out. He simply refuses not to be enamored by what we have between us. He keeps wanting for more, and I am enslaved with the thrill of it all.

I guess that’s the main reason why I have fallen this crazy. I have finally found someone who I can allow to rule over me. If only…

But I am keeping my grounds… I cannot actually be the whimpering damsel to him, as much as I would wish to be. I cannot even be a slave of any kind to him. I cannot serve him as much as I could. I cannot take care of him the way that I can. I cannot freely say anything, any adulation, any reassurance… I cannot. I won’t.

I am a bird in the cage. I have sturdy wings with me but I cannot make use of them. If only he has the capacity to open wide the iron bars. But he, too, is locked inside his own consequences.