Some it is comforting to know, after someone you love tells you: "puta ka ya panan-aw ko". I don't know how this brokenness will be fixed, maybe only God can. I guess He alone can fix everything. How can a bitch like me expect to be loved and respected. I am only as good as what I can give. Nothing else. Maybe this is what mistresses have to suffer. I have to suffer for taking him away from his family. I have to suffer for falling madly in love with him. I admit that time I was just plain crazy. The consequences were clear. But it just looked blurry to me. I didn't care at all. I didn't look at the future. All I wanted that time was to be with him. All the time. All that mattered to me were those fleeting moments when I could be in his arms. Indeed I was crazy. I am still crazy. For putting up with this kind of life that he gave me. I am still crazy for giving him second chances all the time. I am still crazy for giving it a try over and over and over again.
There are times when no matter how hard you
try, you just cannot accept yourself as you are. During such times,
think of how you look to God's eyes. In God's eyes, there is no
judgment, there is only acceptance. God sees your light when all that
you can see are your shadows. God loves you more than anyone could ever
love you as you really are.
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